How Decisions Actually Get Made

Last week I wrote about the two versions of every organisation: the official one and the real one. If you're going to notice that gap anywhere first, it will probably be in how decisions get made.

Think about the last significant decision in your area. Not a small operational call. Something that moved budget, changed direction, or affected someone's role. Now think about when you first heard it discussed. Not the meeting where it was announced. The first time someone mentioned it to you. Over coffee. In a one-to-one. On a walk back from lunch. In a private message at 7pm.

That conversation? That was part of how the decision got made. You were already in it.

You're already in the room

Most people think decisions happen in meetings. They don't. Meetings are where decisions get confirmed, refined, and announced. The actual shaping happens earlier, in the informal conversations where people test ideas, surface concerns, and figure out what they think.

I was talking to my team in Austin this week, and we discussed how I often share ideas in 1:1 conversations, way before they become a decision or a new project. I'll 'shop the idea around' until I get my story straight.

Here's what those conversations look like in your world. Your manager thinks out loud with you about a restructure. A colleague asks what you reckon about a new tool. Someone flags a problem in a one-to-one and you both start sketching solutions. None of these feel like "decision-making." They feel like talking. But they're the moments where direction gets set.

You're not outside this process. You're in it every day. The question is whether you're doing it accidentally or on purpose.

The shift is intention, not access

Once you see that you're already part of how decisions take shape, the practical question changes. It stops being "how do I get into the room?" and becomes "how do I show up to the conversations I'm already in with more intention?"

Three things can make a difference.

• Name what you're seeing. When someone thinks out loud with you, they're inviting you into the decision. Treat it that way. Instead of nodding along, offer a perspective. "I think the risk is X" or "Have you considered Y?" is more useful than agreement. Your role in that moment is to sharpen the thinking, not just witness it. This level of arbitrage improves decision making.
• Ask about what's coming, not just what's happened. Most people only engage with decisions after they're announced. One question changes that: "What's being thought about right now?" Ask your manager in your next one-to-one. Ask a peer over coffee. That single question moves you from reacting to participating. It signals that you're someone who thinks ahead, and it gives you time to form a view before the formal conversation starts.
• Follow your instinct when something feels decided. You know the phrases. "I think we're aligned on this." "The direction of travel is clear." When you hear these in a meeting, the shaping happened earlier. That's fine. But next time, notice when the shaping is happening in real time around you. That's your moment. Not the meeting. The conversation before it.

Why this matters for your career

This is quite simple. Your perspective matters. Your proximity to the work, to the team, to the customers means you see things that senior leaders don't. When you share that perspective early, in the conversations where thinking is still forming, you're not being political. You're being useful.

Being consistently useful in those moments is how trust compounds over time.

The people who shape outcomes aren't in a special club. They're the ones who noticed that decisions are built in conversations, not meetings, and started showing up to those conversations as participants rather than spectators.

You're already IN those conversations. The only shift is recognising them for what they are.

One thing to try this week

Pick a decision that's currently in play. Something not yet finalised. Before the next meeting about it, have one conversation with someone involved. Don't pitch. Don't lobby. Just ask how they're thinking about it, and share how you're thinking about it. That's it.

You might find the meeting feels different afterwards. Not because anything changed about the meeting. Because you were already part of the decision before you walked in.

For more on the toolkit side of making good decisions once you're in these conversations, I went deeper on that here.