Giving Feedback in the Workplace: A Manager’s Guide to Building Trust and Performance

Most managers know feedback matters. Fewer feel confident giving it.

Done well, feedback improves performance and builds trust. Done poorly—or not at all—it creates confusion, frustration, and silence.

This piece explores why feedback is hard, what happens when you avoid it, and how to deliver it in a way that improves both your team’s outcomes and working relationships.

Why Feedback Feels Difficult

Even experienced managers hesitate. You second-guess yourself. You worry it’ll be taken the wrong way. You convince yourself it’s not a big deal. But the hesitation usually comes down to four things:

• Worry about upsetting the person
• Uncertainty about how to say it
• Fear of damaging the relationship
• No clear model for doing it well

What Happens When You Avoid It

Avoiding feedback doesn’t make a problem go away. It just allows it to spread.

You’ll often see:

• Ongoing behaviour issues
• Unspoken tension
• Lower engagement
• Missed learning opportunities

Let’s Ground This in a Real Example

You manage Chris, a senior analyst. Sharp, reliable, and full of ideas. Recently, they have been dominating team meetings—cutting off colleagues and dismissing input. Junior staff disengage.

You know it’s affecting the dynamic. But you’re wary of knocking their confidence. Chris is high-performing. You don’t want to lose trust.

This is a moment where feedback could make things better, or worse, depending on how you handle it.

What Useful Feedback Looks Like

Feedback is not about judgement. It’s about clarity.

Effective feedback is:

• Prompt: close enough to the event to be relevant
• Specific: focused on observable behaviour
• Constructive: explains the impact and what to adjust
• Two-way: opens the door to a conversation

Feedback Is Support

You don’t need a big moment. The best feedback is low-stakes, regular, and part of daily work.

If you’re clear, kind, and consistent, your team will trust your intent and respond positively.

Use a Framework to Stay Grounded

When feedback feels awkward, structure helps. The following three frameworks give you a reliable way to stay focused, fair, and clear.

1. SBI: Situation – Behaviour – Impact

Use this to describe a specific moment: what happened, what the person did, and what result it had.

Example with Chris:

“In Monday’s team meeting (Situation), you interrupted Sam and Aisha while they were speaking (Behaviour). After that, neither contributed much more (Impact).”

Why it works: it’s factual and non-judgemental; it brings attention to the effect on others; it keeps the focus on the situation, not the person.

You could add:

“Your energy’s valuable in meetings — I want to make sure others feel able to contribute too.”

For more detail on SBI - here's my full article.

2. COIN: Context – Observation – Impact – Next Steps

Use COIN when you need to address a recurring pattern and agree what happens next.

Example with Chris:

“In recent sprint planning sessions (Context), I noticed you often spoke over others mid-sentence (Observation). People have stopped contributing as much (Impact). Could we work on a way to create more space in discussions while keeping your input? (Next Steps)”

Why it works: frames a pattern without blame; shows concern for the wider team; invites collaboration on a fix.

For more on the COIN model - here's my full article.

3. Radical Candour: Care Personally + Challenge Directly

This is a mindset more than a script. It only works if you’ve built some trust.

Example with Chris:

“I value your contributions and want to see you succeed. I’ve noticed your meeting style has started to crowd out other voices. Leadership also means creating space for others. Can we talk about how you’re seeing it?”

Why it works: it acknowledges strengths; connects feedback to growth; keeps the tone respectful but clear.

For more on Radical Candour - here's my article.

Choosing the right approach

Here's a quick reference to help you pick the right model:

If You’ve Been Avoiding It

Most managers do at some point. I certainly have. However there are ways that you can reset.

Try saying:

• “I’ve been meaning to raise something — that’s on me.”
• “I want us to work more openly.”
• “This isn’t blame. It’s about moving forward.”

Then choose one example.

With Chris, say: “Something’s been on my mind. Can I share it now?”

Reinforce the Change

Don’t leave the conversation hanging. If Chris adjusts their approach:

“The way you handled the meeting was great. More people spoke up because of how you opened it.”

Recognition helps new behaviour stick.

Quick Feedback Checklist for Managers

• Have I observed something specific and recent?
• Am I focused on behaviour, not personality?
• Can I explain the impact clearly?
• Have I thought about what should happen next?
• Am I creating space for conversation?
• Will I follow up?

Final Thought

Feedback is part of leadership.

Done well, it gives people clarity, direction, and connection - and builds relationships through respect and honesty.

How can you improve your feedback practice today?